"Happily Ever After," is it True?

Great life? What is a great life? Is it having a great amount of money, two children and a wife, but still being in a mid-life crisis? I think Billy Pilgrim and Cinderella are different, in some ways. She could be a metaphor for what happens to Billy, but not the perfect one.

This is what Gabriela Aldana said in her blog entry "Billy Pilgrim Was Cinderella, and Cinderella Was Billy Pilgrim." She said that Billy goes to war, which could be the time that Cinderella had to work with her stepsisters and stepmother. Then, she gets married to the prince and lives a happy life, for ever, until she dies. In Billy Pilgrim's life this would be the part where he gets married to Valencia, she's rich, he becomes wealthy and "lives happily ever after." Does he? Does even Cinderella live happy ever after?

We assume that Cinderella lives a fully satisfactory life, since it is a fairy tale. But, are you sure that every single day of her life she was completely happy just because she is away from her step-family and she is a princess? You never are. Maybe, she never is happy (all the time, there are moments you can be happy now).

I think it is the same with Billy, maybe in that way they would be similar. (Still, I think they are not similar). Billy went to war, Vonnegut has explained how war is, it's horrible. Then he married a horrible woman (inside and out) and then he "lived happily ever after," with a bitter wife, and an intolerant daughter. Oh and I forgot to mention that he somehow hates Valencia, he just didn't tell her. He didn't tell her anything. Not even his Tralfamadorian thing. Such a happy life. Honestly, I wish I had a family to which I couldn't tell them anything because I would be called freak! It would be amazing, having a completely socially awkward family and be stuck there...'TILL YOU DIE.

The "Writing Tick"

"Poor old Edgar Derby," "Billy Pilgrim." Doesn't that seem familiar? Well, it should. Kurt Vonnegut says it all the time, throughout all the book. But why? Why does he do that? It's like a writing tick: you can't stop saying the same things over and over again. Whenever he mentions Edgar Derby, he must say "poor old Edgar Derby." Whenever he talks about Billy he can't say "Billy" or "Pilgrim" or "old Pilgs," he must say "Billy Pilgrim."

I can't blame him too much for that, I think I have that writing tick too. But the thing that I can't stand is that maybe it's his weird way of telling us something and I can't figure out what that something is.

But, lets not forget that old Vonnegut was at wart too, with old Pilgs, and we take that for granted. (Well at least I do). Just because he is writing the book I think he was not at war (or maybe it was because he writes in third person). Suddenly a sentence like "That was I." (pg. 148) is what reminds me that Kurt Vonnegut, was there. I've talked about how Billy is traumatized because of war in my other entries, but I've never talked about Vonnegut. What if he also has a trauma and cant stop repeating THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

But enough of the writing tick. Lets talk about Paul Lazzaro. Who I think is kinda funny. The only thing that I don't get about him is that stuff he says about killing people...is he serious? Well, I don't know if he is (people in desperation can say many things, I mean he did break his arm) but I find it humorous: he goes pointing at every one (with his good arm) and say's like "I will kill you because...you were in my way when I was pointing to another person to kill them!" There's always one of those at war. Fo' sho.

War's Left and Right

My dad always tells me to look on both sides when I cross the street. Even if it's a one way street. It may sound silly, but it's true. People are silly, stupid, ignorant and sometimes drunk when they drive a car. I feel like that is what happened to the Americans when they were told about Dresden.

They were told it was beautiful, undefended and "off war," but they are at war. And they are in Germany. Why didn't they look to the other side of the street?

They were getting bombed in thirty days and Billy knew. He knew everything: when he was going to die, when Derby was doing to die, he knew many things. Somehow he kept everything to himself, he never said a thing about what he saw, I guess that would make him look foolish. Maybe, just maybe, he may not be totally insane, people that don't like to keep an image are the crazy ones, right? I suppose. Everyone cares what other people think, even if it's just a little, even Billy Pilgrim.

I wouldn't know how it is to be a prisoner, and specially at war. I mean, sure, it is very tough and "impersonal," I would say. But still, I wouldn't know how it is to be a prisoner. Kurt Vonnegut has shown me a little of how if feels like. He has shown me a little of how it is to be a captured soldier and he has shown me a little of how it is to not see trees, comfortable beds and kids for three years. He has made me feel sick about war.

How Can a Planet Live at Peace?

Each time I try to put myself in Billy Pilgrim's shoes I get this image. The image of loneliness, of desperation and sorrow. That is how I imagine Billy's life, miserable.

At first, when he mentioned his wife for the first time, I thought that there was actually somebody there by his side, someone he fell in love with because of the company she gave him. Guess what? He didn't want to marry her. I think he felt even less lonely without his wife by his side. It's not that she wasn't by his side all the time, because she literally was. It's that figuratively she wasn't. Valencia cared more about what Billy had to say about war, not his feelings. Plus, Billy didn't even like or trust her that much to tell her about his secret life.

How did Billy even come up to be the way he is? Take a look at his mother, such a religious, smart, and good woman. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Billy is the opposite, they are just completely different in many ways. For example when she says "People would be surprised if they knew how much in this world was due to prayers" (pg. 103). This shows two points of view completely different, one where everyone has the correct morals and you must hope and pray and love, and another one that is basically reality.

That's the word, reality. What is it, reality? Are Tralfamadorians real? I don't know, maybe for Billy Pligrim they are. You actually never know what is real for a person. And you can't please them either, that is why there will never be a balanced, peaceful and equal society. You can't please everyone. Hence, World War II, Billy Pilgrim's reality.

I don't know very well Kurt Vonnegut, haven't read many of his books. But I it seems like he is trying to tell us something through many different messages, for example, the Tralfamadorians. He has experienced war, He has lived it, I know he is trying to tell us something through this. Obviously, I mean, it's an anti-war book, but I know there's something more. There's something more.

Everything is Beautiful

What is being sane? Is it something that keeps our feet on the ground? Or is it something that can drive someone crazy? Insane people, are trained maniacs, they know they are crazy. Billy Pilgrim has the advantage that he is very aware (even though it may seem like he is not) of what is going on around him.

I see Billy's "insanity" as a shield for him. When he was captive by the Germans, Billy asked the guard "Why me?" (pg. 91) and he responded "Vy you? Vy anybody?" This is the same thing he asked when he was being abducted by the Tralfamadorians, and the same response was given to him. Maybe it isn't very clear, but come on, he is imagining all this! Isn't he? Well, the evidence is right in front of us, but...what if he was kidnapped by aliens?

"They made war look stylish and reasonable, and fun." (pg. 24) Wow. Is it? Is war stylish and reasonable and fun? So I've been told. Yes, the government actually benefits from war, more money comes to their power. So I guess it is all of the above. I mean, yeah of course, some people die now and then, but they aren't relevant for the economy, so they don't really matter? They are shown as people that sacrificed for their country, but...did they? Or did they just die in vane? Sure, Roland Weary was not the nicest person, but he did save Billy's life many times.

That's how I feel, miserable. Miserable. Each page that I turn to is just another tragedy that keeps reminding me of the things I want to forget, such as inhumanity. Why, if humans were created perfectly and precisely, why do such inhuman acts exist? You don't have to read Slaughterhouse Five to realize the extreme borders society has got to. They made Billy wear a dead civilian's jacket and the animal was the coat's fur collar, they made him wear that kind of atrocity.

I think it's obvious. Can't you see? Morals are dead. So it goes.

Is This a Dream?

"Somewhere a dog barked. With the help of fear and echoes and winter silences, that dog had a voice like a big bronze gong." (pg. 82, Kurt Vonnegut) This quote caught my attention mainly because it shows frivolousness. (Yes, I do like frivolousness in books). I can imagine a place that is a wreck after the bombing, the houses are destroyed, there is not a living soul, but that dog. Found in the middle of the street, that used to be a street, but heard like an anthem. That's the way I picture it, everything gone, although the dog is there, just like Vonnegut.

Anyhow, I was very surprised when Billy started watching that war movie. Its like a trauma that he developed. Watching it one time, okay. Watching it two times, weird. Watching it three, stop already. Its revives his past memories of what he had to live and the loudness of the silence, if there was any.

I still pity Billy. He has friends, family, money and love, I don't understand why he lives such a lonely life. He lives in flashbacks, not in the present, which is where he is. But its like he wants to escape from the present, where he cant remember things that sometimes are worse or sometimes are better than the present. His daughter got married, his wife died. Though "So it goes" won't make him live a less lonelier life.

That is why in some way, I am happy the Tralfamadorians kidnapped him. The only way to prove to himself that he is not crazy. That is the only way to make him feel that he is part of something, and that he is needed.

I would like to meet the Tralfamadorians too, that way I can also prove to myself that I am not crazy either.

How Did I Get Here?

Poor Billy Pilgrim. Picture this: lying behind a big pile of rocks, trying to camouflage. Your entire body is exhausted of carrying the incredibly heavy luggage that you have held for months now. Your right arm sweating because of holding that trigger so harshly and your left arm holding the shotgun that when it explodes, the suffering won't be over.

War. Just imagine war. Would you like to stay in it? Or would you like to try to imagine being in another place where you don't have to face the reality of death or life in just the blink of an eye?This is why Billy takes us to so many places while he is captured by the Germans in World War II.

Even with that description, I don't think I could even imagine being at war. Seriously, if I were at war, and I returned, I think I would go crazy and have a trauma of being shot at. I already live scared to have to face that kind of fear.

He tries to escape from the horrid sounds that now matter how hard he closes his ears, the bombs and the firing will sound as if they were inside of his body. While Billy is in this event, he imagines every possible thing, like his first time swimming, when he was drunk and cheated on his wife and at the Lions Club meeting.

Kurt Vonnegut, writes in third person. He talks about Billy Pilgrim as if he were an omniscient narrator but all of the sudden, he says in page 67 "I was there. So was my old war buddy, Bernard V. O'Hare." Throughout the whole book, I have thought that Billy was Vonnegut. When I read this sentence I realized that maybe Vonnegut is putting his life through Billy Pilgrims', and puts his actual self as an omnipresent narrator. It means, he is in the story, not a very important character, but knows everything about the current one.

I must say though, I don't only pity Billy. There's poor Roland Weary dying of pain because of the clogs he received in exchange for the comfortable boots he had to give to the young German. Well, I don't pity him because of that, I mean he is very arrogant. He saves Billy's life just to act as the hero, right?

In between all of this mess, Billy can't stop going to the past, having flash backs, that, to me, somehow mean: how did I get here?