Candide The Gangsta

Nay, nay, nay Candide, I´m disappointed. I thought I could trust you but you had to flush my trust down the toilet and kill all of those three men. Who could have thought that a boy (or manly man, I should say) out of the blue would kill Cúnegonde´s brother? Not me, not me.

HOW DARE YOU KILL TWO PRIESTS. That is unholy, illegal, forbidden. Do you not understand? Have you got something with the church going on? If you have, say it to my face, c´mon.

Candide is not a predictable character. Honestly, I like that. The thing with predictable is that you always know what they are going to do. At first, I thought he was just an ignorant kid who did not know much about life, or pretty much anything. Then he became part of the Bulgars (WOAH BADA** OVER HERE) and then became a self-hero. Then became Captain Candide. What does that boy have going on? Its always him who gets ¨saved by the bell¨ or ends up alive. And even after all of these acts of bravery, he still manages to be naive as he is.

Then he dies. LOL, JK. But seriously, next time, I hope his toilet doesn´t flush.

Y U Doin´This Voltaire? U Wanna Get Caught?

Writing a blog is almost complicated as understanding the book, sometimes. Voltaire keeps fooling and playing with my intelligence. Every time he says something ironic, absurd or exaggerated, I know he is messing with me and he knows I have to read the joke two times to get it. Having that said, I will continue with my eternal search for writing the perfect blog (if there is such) about a satirical book. Challenge accepted.

For me there is nothing like reading a book where the author makes fun of the elite hierarchy. In this case, Voltaire always depicts princesses and those who know-nothing as the wiser ones. For example, when he quotes the astute old lady: ¨While the old woman was speaking with the prudence which age and experience confer...¨ (page 60). He spoke of her that way because she gave the greatest of advices to Cúnegonde by saying she should marry a rich Governor and desert the horrible life that would pursue her.

Just to give you a clue, he was being sarcastic. Sarcasm, as a matter of fact, is very common in this book. I figured that maybe by saying that he was insinuating that he did not support the fact of women ¨staying in the kitchen.¨ I´m glad. I am not the most feminist and sexist person of all times, but I do support the fact of them working hard and building a name.

Don´t just read, nod your head and agree with what I just said, consider the time Voltaire was in when he wrote Candide. There was extreme sexism and women were not allowed to do anything. He said things priests still consider unholy. But his subtleness, I guess, saved him from being one of those maniacs that just wanted to fool around with the church. Pshh, like seriously dude, get someone of your height.

I mean, really, what was that Copernicus guy thinking with that whole ¨heliocentric¨ theory thing? There are some crazy people out there, don´t wanna touch ´em.

Take it Easy, Bro.

Suicide. Is it really that horrible? I think it is too mainstream and overrated. No, I am not saying that suicide is an act of cowardice, but people take it to a public extreme where it seems to me that they are even bragging about it. This doesn't apply to the Old Lady case, I just wanted to get that off my chest.

"I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life." (page 57) I am almost completely sure, that everyone, even as stupid as it looks like, everyone has thought that. Having suicidal thoughts is not only for the depressed, I can assure you that at least once we've all thought "It would be better if i didn't have to go through this. I bet they would miss me. What then? Huh?" I've done it, and I can admit it. But I'm just so stupid that I have gotten taken away by the beauty of life, and at some moments I am in love with it. (First and last time I say that. Ever)

Of course, there is no point of comparison between an Old Lady who once was a princess and lost it all, and me. I live a perfectly normal life, but we all have troubles.

Anyways, I take that sentence literally its just that people over think it too much and end up philosophizing about the labyrinth of life. I sense that what Voltaire honestly meant was that people have the capacity of reaching that level of stupidity. Guilty.

The Philosophy of Philosophers

Is it just me? "The University of Coimbra had pronounced that the sight of a few people ceremoniously burned alive before a slow fire was an infallible prescription for preventing earthquakes..." (page 37) Or is that not messed up? I don't think it is. But you be the judge. Don't get scared by these things that Voltaire says, he only means them in extreme cases. Just to give you a clue, its called satire...still don't know? Google it.

"He wanted to throw himself into the sea after the Anabaptist, but the great philosopher, Pangloss, stopped him by proving that Lisbon harbour was made on puropse for this Anabaptist to drown there," (page 33) "all is for the best" and "there is no cause without effect." Hmmm...who could that possibly be? Surely not Voltaire, c'mon. I mean, that doesn't sound familiar at all. Notice that this guy we don't know about, sometimes named "narrator" pauses the sentence and specifies, "...the great philosopher, Pangloss..." If you haven't got it yet, he's making fun of poor old Pangloss. Man, can satire be tricky.

They say great minds think alike, well not in my case. Voltaire and I don't get along very well, but when we do, we do it big time. Although I have got to admit that the message is pretty clear. It is a critique against society. Though what I have come to understand through these clue-sentences is that there is so much more out there that we don't know of and it takes a lot more than just to name ourselves philosophers, to actually know.

Taking into account that Voltaire does make fun of philosophers and questions their position, that leads me to think: are philosophers a joke?

If this is so, aren't we philosophers?

Everything is as it Seems!

I don't know if it's resentment, or simply intolerance, but one of those two nouns make me onerous and fidgety when it's about Candide. I have met ignorant people, and I may be one of them. But I have never met someone like Candide. Not that I ever will.

I am not thoroughly informed on what Voltaire did, but starting off from the fact that he was a philosopher, gives me the confidence to believe that the book is good.

However, Candide is a boy who thinks that everything is made out of chocolate and the world is composed of flowers and bases his beliefs on a man that thinks the same way he does, Pangloss.

Even when one of the most horrible and tragic episodes that can occur in someone's life happens to him, he still doesn't lose "faith." For many people, this can be an act of courage fullness, that believes in the beauty of promise. No. He is an ignorant child that can't tell the difference from right or wrong, good or bad, and most importantly, truth or lie.

I sensed that the omniscient narrator was trying to portray the same image as Candide, ignorance. He tells the satire in such way that one can feel that he thinks everything will be okay, no one will harm a homeless boy, and that everyone or everything "means/is for the best."

That was what got you into the arms of the Bulgars, right Candide? Why can't you see ahead? Stupid boy.

Actually, I am glad that he got the chance to experience the outdoor liberty. Not everything is as it seems, but it takes much more than one simple torture for Candide to realize that.

The taste of freedom must feel splendorous for such philosopher. I mean, it is Candide who we are talking about here.